Beloved Old Mare

She didn't make it. The fight became too much and she was humanly euthanized yesterday.

Upward Trend

Yndi continues to improve and I am cutting down on meds. The vet comes tomorrow for a recheck. New xrays will tell the farrier how much to trim.

When I decided to have her put down, she was in s much pain and not getting better as expected. It broke my heart to make the decision and I thought it was the best. The day before the vet was scheduled, I was with her. I watched her. She was still interested in what Grendel and Peanut were up to, Goats are usually up to something. She was still giving Pepper the Hairy Eyeball. She greeted me with a stretched out nose and a brief touch. She still enjoyed grooming and tried to maneuver the itchy spots closer to the action. She was still affectionate when I just sat with her.

I concluded that she wasn't done with life yet.

2012 Indian Hill Ranch, Milpitas, CA

2016 Indian Hill Ranch, Milpitas, CA

Change of Heart

I had the vet scheduled for today, the backhoe for tomorrow. I changed my mind. She still tells me she loves me like a foal, hates the other pony who eggs her on with serious intent, takes pleasure n grooming and finds life interesting. I added Banamine to her other medications.

Today.

Today. I have decided. It's today. I have killed my pony through a long series of micro decisions. Making her live through the pain in the hope that she recovers so that I can avoid feeling of guilty is not fair. I hate myself and wish I could die too.
7:16 am

Overhwelming

Things are looking, well, maybe up, or down, or sideways.
Yndi had stem cell therapy 13 days ago. She got some pain relief from that, but the treatment is mainly to promote hoof growth, so that the growth can outrun the damage. Still don't know on that one. She stopped shedding abruptly, which is bothersome.

My computer had problems, then I had problems with my service contract, part of which was subcontracted and nobody wanted to take care of it. That took a weeks a nd six hours of driving. Then I had a computer rest to factory. No apps, no files. I have been restoring everything.

Here are some pictures I took on the way to the mailbox.

Dire

Hard to take a picture of someone who keeps advancing on you.

Yndi's situation is dire. The vet came Monday, the xrays were not so good. I decided to begin stem cell therapy, the stem cells are on order. Probably be here by the end of next week.

It was a case of In for a penny, in for a pound. Yesterday I regretted that decision.

Pain management has been difficult. She received a long term chemical nerve block. Three days later she was in more pain than ever. Finally, after 4 days and another change in medication, there is improvement.

I had called our neighbor who has a backhoe about digging a hole.

My husband has checked the well data and is worried about all the water I'm using to soak hay.

Gratuitous baby goat pics.

Baby Peanut

Baby Peanut

Grendel

Better?

Last night when I went to the barn to put goats away and give pellets and electrolytes. Peanut the baby goat and Grendel the mom goat were in with Yndi. They seem to be able to cross fences at will, so this was their choice. Yndi has been too grumpy in the past for Grendel to want to be in her pen.

Last night, Yndi seemed to be moving better. Maybe she is better, maybe the goats buoyed her spirits. Yndi has been both curious and tolerant of Peanut, allowing him to chew her tail and walk between her legs. She has had four foals. She must have been a great mother.

Goat specialize in photobombs.

H and H

Handwalking and hoping. Many of us have been there.

Here is a 2017 picture of Yndi. I haven't taken her picture is a little while. I think I don't want to be taking my last pictures of Yndi. There will probably not be any new pictures until she is out of the woods. This is not life as usual, no matter how Dave likes to pretend.

In the meantime, there are goats. Photobombing goats. Is there any other kind of goat?

Blogger is tricky, moving ad floating pictures, links, and text. Editing in html is a pain. Good thing I can.

Damage Control

Life is all about damage control. Mine is, anyway. Is yours?

This post was depressing, even after I left some bad parts out, so I deleted it. I left the pictures so you can make up the story you want.

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How LongSince My Last Post?

Caring for a Cushings pony with hindgut ulcers.
Driving to Hollister for more hay.
Waiting for baby goats
making saddlepads for the next product line.
Celebrating a wedding anniversary.
Tomorrow is a volunteer day for the rescue rabbits.

I made this collage for my etsy listings:

#5photos1day #horsebloggers

Challenge on Horsebloggers. There are some good blogs here too. Here is my challenge. These photos were taken yesterday. My connectivity problems kept me from blogging them. I spent most of my day volunteering at a Rabbit Haven Rescue adoption event in Sunnyvale.

So here. Two Gotland Ponies, a pregnant goat and a barn cat.

Time at the Barn

We all wore the hat on Christmas:

 Lydia

 Yndi

 Pepper

 Grendel(seen here fleeing the hat)

 Goat votes "nope" on the hat

Evil Elf me