Upward Trend

Yndi continues to improve and I am cutting down on meds. The vet comes tomorrow for a recheck. New xrays will tell the farrier how much to trim.

When I decided to have her put down, she was in s much pain and not getting better as expected. It broke my heart to make the decision and I thought it was the best. The day before the vet was scheduled, I was with her. I watched her. She was still interested in what Grendel and Peanut were up to, Goats are usually up to something. She was still giving Pepper the Hairy Eyeball. She greeted me with a stretched out nose and a brief touch. She still enjoyed grooming and tried to maneuver the itchy spots closer to the action. She was still affectionate when I just sat with her.

I concluded that she wasn't done with life yet.

2012 Indian Hill Ranch, Milpitas, CA

2016 Indian Hill Ranch, Milpitas, CA

Change of Heart

I had the vet scheduled for today, the backhoe for tomorrow. I changed my mind. She still tells me she loves me like a foal, hates the other pony who eggs her on with serious intent, takes pleasure n grooming and finds life interesting. I added Banamine to her other medications.

Today.

Today. I have decided. It's today. I have killed my pony through a long series of micro decisions. Making her live through the pain in the hope that she recovers so that I can avoid feeling of guilty is not fair. I hate myself and wish I could die too.
7:16 am

Overhwelming

Things are looking, well, maybe up, or down, or sideways.
Yndi had stem cell therapy 13 days ago. She got some pain relief from that, but the treatment is mainly to promote hoof growth, so that the growth can outrun the damage. Still don't know on that one. She stopped shedding abruptly, which is bothersome.

My computer had problems, then I had problems with my service contract, part of which was subcontracted and nobody wanted to take care of it. That took a weeks a nd six hours of driving. Then I had a computer rest to factory. No apps, no files. I have been restoring everything.

Here are some pictures I took on the way to the mailbox.